What's to come

So since my husband's business partner is totally screwing us over right now because he's an evil, selfish fucktard, and we have nothing to fall back on, we're trying to figure some things out. My husband has applied for some other jobs but we haven't heard anything back from them. I'm hoping to go to college (sooner than expected) next semester and also hoping that our "low income" puts us in the category to qualify for financial aid. I'm hoping we can get loans to cover the rest of the expense. It will take a while for this to pay off. I have 2 years of school before I can get a job doing what I will be going to school. I guess we'll also see what kind of other assistance we can get. I assume that if we're not making anything, we'll qualify for a lot. The main thing is to keep a roof over my kids, keep them warm and fed. I'm just trying to think positively but that's very hard when it seems the future looks very, very bleak. I wish I had the same faith in god or a higher being that my husband has but I certainly don't. I don't even know how one can believe in such a thing after being continually screwed, especially by people who call themselves christians. What a fucking joke.
So hopefully my husband can find something to keep us afloat for the next couple of years while I work very hard at getting my degree. I will be making decent money then and hopefully then we'll be able to crawl out of this pit we've sunk into. Everything pretty much just sucks right now. I am crying a lot but trying to put on my happy face around other people. The truth is that I'm really not okay. I wish I could go back to 2 years ago and tell my husband not to have any contact with Karlina Diffenasshat (my new nickname for the fucktard screwing over our entire family) because he's an evil person who will try to take everything from him. But I can't, so I just cry and worry.

Venting

I'm sure my facebook friends are sick of reading about this so I'll just share here for my own sake of mind. I'm so pissed that I can hardly see straight. I'm so sick of "Christians" being not at all what they're supposedly all about. Love, kindness, all that shit. I'm so sick of this stupid fucktard trying to totally screw our family over. I HATE these people so much. And their kids certainly deserve better than those 2 asshats. Never have I been so angry in my whole life.

Another "You look too young to..." story

I meant to share this story before but I'm just getting around to it today. I know I look younger than I am. I've gotten countless comments from strangers about it. I also know that I was pretty young when we had Brett. But the story revolves around the play that Brett was in. I took him to tryouts in March and had been driving him to and from rehearsals for 2.5 months. On the last day of the play, my mom came to watch it. After it was over, Krysta and I were sitting with my mom and talking to Brett. One of the directors came over and started talking to my mom. The conversation went like this:

Director: "Your husband isn't here?"
My mom (probably confused): "No, he decided to stay home."
Director: "Oh, he was at the one earlier today, though."
My mom (now I'm confused): "No, he wasn't."
Me, finally figuring out what's going on: "No, that was my husband. I'm Brett's mom."
Director: "Oh, you don't look old enough to be his mom."
Me: "Thanks!"

I used to take offense to it but now I just take it as a compliment. I figure when I'm older and still look young, it'll be awesome! Probably my favorite comment was when Brett was in first grade and in boy scouts. One of the boys in his troop, when he found out I was Brett's mom, said, "You don't look like a mom." I laughed and told him thanks. I guess everyone just thinks I'm his older sister or something. But at least adults should know that some people have babies when they're teenagers and some of those teenagers, gasp, act like adults and are responsible and take care of those babies.
So yeah, I'm sure it'll continue happening for a good long time. When I'm eventually a grandma (better not be for at the very least 10 more years!), I'm sure I'll get "You don't look old enough to have grandkids" and whatnot. And that's just fine by me. I'll be the cool, young grandma. :)

Mother's Day

What did I want for Mother's Day? Expensive jewelry? A spa certificate? Flowers? Candy? None of the above. I wanted 2 things for Mother's Day and neither of them cost anything. I wanted to sleep in. Did I get that? No. We had to do the baby dedication on Sunday morning because I guess we were the only people who signed up for Saturday night. That's a whole other rant by itself but I'll spare you. So, we had to leave by 7:45 which sucked big time. I was hoping my husband could get the kids mostly ready by himself and just get me up at 7:30 so I could get myself ready to go. But apparently, he doesn't know how to get people dressed. Wonderful for me. So I was thinking that if I got up at 7:15 and we really hurried, we could get ready in time. So then I was just hoping to sleep until 7:15, hoping that my husband would get up with everyone else. And, of course, that means he didn't. I was up from the time that the first kid woke up, which was 6:36. So much for that. And we still got out the door late.
The other thing I wanted was help with cleaning. Now, it's true that we were out of the house for a huge chunk of the day. So I asked him today if I could get help with cleaning. His answer was a crappy attitude and an "I don't know" answer, which really means "I'm not going to say no but I'm not going to help you."
So much for Mother's Day. And I'm done with pampering my husband on Father's Day. What's the point anyway? I'm tired of giving and giving and never getting a thing back. It's exhausting. I'm actually considering going on strike.

Long time, no see, again

Well, what has happened since my last post? I got pregnant again for the final time in June 2011. In July, we found out that it was twins which was a huge shock to me. They came at 35 weeks on February 12, 2012 due to me developing pre-eclampsia. Serena was born first at 4:16 pm weighing 5 lbs, 7 oz and Seth came at 4:19 pm, weighing 6 lbs, 10 oz. Seth spent 15 days in the NICU due to breathing problems. Serena had no problems being born early and came home with me at 4 days old. It was my first c-section and definitely a strange experience.
On Tuesday, my oldest daughter was carrying her around and slipped on a school paper and fell. Serena landed on her head. It swelled up pretty bad and she screamed for about 5 minutes and then fell asleep, even though she had just woken up. My husband took her to the ER. When my MIL got home from work, she watched the other kids so I could be with them at the hospital. She was then transferred to Hershey overnight for observation. She is fine but she does have a small skull fracture. I think it's pretty amazing that with 7 kids, my oldest being almost 11, this is the first broken bone we've had.
Our church sent over balloons this morning for Serena. Travis and I were upstairs with the babies and the other 3 kids that were home were downstairs. I knew when I heard the doorbell that the door would be open before I got down there. My kids are always so excited when someone comes to the door. However, I was shocked and embarrassed when I saw that Asher was in shorts and no shirt, Jordan was only in a diaper and Rayne was completely naked. All of them standing there to great the delivery guy. I apologized and he seemed to think it was funny so I can only hope that he has kids and understands.
So it's been a long couple of days here. I'm exhausted and way behind on housework. 4 of my kids are napping so I really should be doing something more productive than wasting time on the computer. I think I'm going to come up with a new plan for chores for my kids. Our current system isn't working.

Motivation... where are you?

I can not seem to get my butt out of bed to go running. I have not run since Friday. At this point, I feel like I should just start over. I tried getting Travis to make me get up and do it but he didn't. Maybe I just need to switch to evenings. I am not a morning person at all. All I can think about in the mornings is how I still want to be sleeping.
But I seemed to find motivation to clean my house which is odd for me. I despise cleaning and try to avoid it if at all possible. My kitchen looks pretty good and today I plan on sweeping and mopping the kitchen and hall way. I swept and mopped the play room yesterday. It's a good thing too since we're having my brother and his wife over for dinner tomorrow night.

*yawn*

We went to bed late last night, mainly because I wasn't ready for the weekend to be over. Here is how my night went:

12:30- head to bed
1:30- Jordan wakes up SCREAMING. Travis tried to get him to go back to bed on his own but it was a no go so he laid with him.
4:00- Rayne wakes up so I go in to feed her.
4:30- Back to bed for me
6:20- Alarm goes off. Thankfully Travis was already up so he got up with the kids to get them ready for school
6:50- Travis comes to wake me up and ask if I know where Krysta's other sandal is. I don't.
7:00- Rayne starts waking up. I get up to go take care of her but she stops making noise so I lay back down and go to sleep.
7:40- Jordan comes up and starts knocking on the bedroom door. I take him back downstairs to Travis who is trying to get some sleep on the couch while the boys watch TV.
8:10- Rayne is up to eat again so I go in with her.
8:30- Up for the day.

That was a long night. And I'm still sick with this stupid cold. And then I got a bloody nose. And I skipped my run this morning because I was feeling pretty lousy. I guess I will just have to go out tomorrow morning instead. I really dislike Mondays.