SCREAM

I seriously just want to scream at the top of my lungs at the universe. Can there not be even 1 good thing in my life?
Monday was likely the most shittastic day in a long time. The lawyer my husband met with said he wouldn't take his case and it was seeming like pretty much all hope was lost. That in itself was lost. Then out of the blue, our van decides that it's time to stop working. Seriously, running perfectly the day before and then BAM, I think I'll turn this here radiator fluid into sludge and then just overheat the shit out of this engine. Wee! Isn't this so fun?! HELL NO! Oh yeah, this was also Travis's 31st birthday. Happy birthday honey. You get treated by shit even more by Karlina, this lawyer won't take your case and your main mode of transportation decides to have a tantrum like our 3 year old. Best birthday ever, right?
Also, 2 weeks ago, all 9 of us were sick with a stomach bug. It was hell. I don't think I've ever seen so much vomit in my life. It was like a horror movie. Finally I think we can get back to being healthy but the universe seems to have other ideas. Oh, you guys are all better now? Here, how about you take this flu/cold and be miserable with that. I'm sure I can throw something else at you guys when you recover from that one. You're welcome.
And then I get to hear that an embroidery machine is more fun than me. Okay, technically, it wasn't said that way but that's the way it went down. Awesome! I just love that my self esteem obviously isn't low enough right now.
So yeah, I just feel like screaming so loud right now. I can't even have this 1 small thing of screaming really loud because it would only wake all my kids up and make everything more miserable than it already is. So instead of screaming, I just have been crying. I don't know when life is actually going to be good again. I realize that this is all very depressing but that's just kind of the way everything is right now.
What I want is for my husband to succeed in business despite Karlina's efforts to make him not. You know, so we can have important things like a roof over our heads and food to eat. I mean, it hasn't gotten to that point yet but I'm still waiting for that bomb to drop. I want us to all be healthy and stay healthy and I want to not have to be scared to send my kids to school later today. I want a hot guy to hit on me so I don't feel like an unattractive blob. I'd also like to win the lottery but I've only bought a ticket once so I don't think my odds of that are very likely. And since I can't have all these things, I just want to scream as loud as I possibly can. Maybe I'll feel better after some sleep but I kind of doubt it. Tomorrow will just bring more misery, more things I can't stand. Yay.